I follow the swearing news, it’s my favourite account.
HORROR MOVIE ADS ON YOUTUBE THAT U CANT SKIP
There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
I think I laughed more than I should of at this
"Are you lonely?"
"Why would I be lonely?"
"Because you’re sad. Have you lost something?”
"What did you lose?"
the sexual tension between me and no one
[AGGRESSIVELY PROCRASTINATES FOR THREE HOURS ON SOMETHING THAT COULD HAVE BEEN FINISHED IN 30 MINUTES]